6. My best remedy for nerves before a first meeting.

I was super nervous on the way to first meetings (or first ‘dates’).  I would get myself so nerved up on the drive, I’d be having trouble breathing normally by the time I got there.  So I started calling friends and talking while I was on the way.  I had a number of friends who were able and willing to distract me so I could arrive at a meeting without hyperventilating.  Lean on your friends.  That's what they're for.

5. Romance is like soup…

… it needs to simmer to be its best.

Here’s something I have heard many times from friends about a guy they met for the first time:

“He was nice enough.  But I don’t know.  I just didn’t feel that… you know… butterfly thing.  I don’t know if there’s a spark.”

You barely met him.   Of course you don’t know if there’s a spark.  When I think back to the guys I’ve dated where there was that ‘spark’ in the first hour, I realize none of them were good choices for me.  If there is spark in the first hour, it’s not real and it won’t last.  If that’s what you’re looking for, go for it.  Short lived spark is not something I was looking for in a date.  If you’re like I was, then realize this new format of dating means it’s going to take some time to get to know someone.  It’s going to take some time for the chemistry to develop;  some time to simmer, like good soup.

I got some great advice from someone when I started dating that I found really helpful.  Ask yourself if you’d be interested in going on the very next date.  Just one, just for a couple of hours.  Don’t get caught up in worrying about if youre attracted enough to marry him, or even if you're attracted enough to, let’s say, kiss him.  Just worry about if you’d like to go see a movie and get a bite to eat.  If the answer to that is yes,  do it. 

Dating and getting to know someone is a process; take the process one step at a time.