4. The first “first date” is really just a throw away

You’ll want to learn to carefully select the people that you’ll actually take the time to meet.  There’s just not enough time in the day and not enough appropriate people for you out there that you should be going on a coffee meet up every day. 

But to get started, know you’re going to take some mis-steps.  The only alternative is putting it off forever.  So, rip the band-aid off and just pick someone you think you might like.  I suggest coffee for a first meeting. It’s safe, it’s public, it’s inexpensive and it’s quick. 

I remember my first attempt.  I don’t remember the fellow’s name.  I don’t remember having any idea if he would be someone I’d like.  He was age and education appropriate, so I met him at a Starbucks.  I was nervous.  I fussed about what to wear.   As soon as we said hello, I knew he wasn’t for me.  There was nothing wrong with him, we just weren’t destined for friendship or anything else.  I thought I need to put in an hour; that seemed only polite.  As the conversation floundered, I was trying to see what time it was without being obvious, so I looked at his watch.  We had met at 4pm.  Hooray!  It was 4:45!  I had put in 45 minutes and I was almost free.

I was wrong.  When looking at an upside down watch, 4:15 can easily be mistaken for 4:45.